"Square Room"- The Salesman and Bernadette, 1998 Capricorn

'The Salesman and Bernadette' is my all time favorite Vic album. In fact, I find it nearly perfect. The songwriting is exquisite, the story is fluid and the music, which is supplied by Nashville's avant garde country band Lambchop, has such a layering and texture to it, that the resulting compositions are a perfect compliment to Vic's "lovely story of loss and longing and sloppy satori."

The stories on this album are varied. They were all written during different times in Vic's career. In fact, the song 'Bernadette and her Crowd' dates back to Vic's first recording session back in 1988. 'Old Hotel' is also an older song. Despite that fact, the assemblage of these songs together, to create a motif, works very well, and the resulting album is a masterpiece.

Of all the great songs on this album, 'Square Room' is my favorite. It is, by no means, a happy song, but it has such a strong emotion to it, that the listener can't help but be drawn in. The earliest performances that I have date back to 1996, two years before the album's release. That version, which I've included below, is a little more up tempo and doesn't contain the turn around segment at the end, in which Vic (or in this case 'The Salesman') is questioning the doings of his life.

Lyrically, it revolves around the solitude, alienation and loneliness that encompasses the life of an alcoholic. The protagonist in the song is alone. His separation appears to be not of his own making, and he is depressed, reflective, and pines for his rustic home. His only desire is to drink himself to death, or at least to ponder that idea. It's a very sad tale of despair, dependency and isolation.

I can't help but listen to it and think of it as Vic's tale. He travelled a lot, battled his own alcoholic demons, and being from rural Georgia, it's very likely that he pined for the country side on more than one occasion. Add to that his own personal struggle with success, and talent, he may have just viewed himself as a pathetic drunkard, whose only comfort in life would be to leave it.

Whether this song is just a character study or not, the circumstances that surrounded Vic's life, make it a poignant, albeit difficult song to wrap one's mind around. I choose to embrace it because to me, it feels like a Vic song. Its emotional, well crafted and highlights Vic's uncanny ability at word play.

Further info:

http://www.lambchop.net/

Here's the Studio cut with Lambchop:

Here's the short live version from 1996:

And an a very moving live version from 2003:

EDIT: Here's the version (with Old Hotel) from Rote Fabrick, with Lambchop, that Ivan referenced:

SQUARE ROOM

sitting in a square room
my voice is freezing
and the beams that are bouncing off the moon
are hanging from my window like icicles

just a tired old alcoholic,
waxing bucolic
shivering and homesick
staring at a wooden floor

last night I nearly killed myself
chasing rum with rum
there were crows flying all around my head
and I sure caught and ate me some

it's funny how I alienated
those who I was trying just so
so hard to impress
now half those fuckers hate me
and I'm just a fool to all the rest

why do I insist on drinking myself to the grave?
why do I dream about cozy coffin?
I had all these plans of great things to accomplish
but I end up purely pathetic more than often

"Sqeak"- Left To His Own Devices, 2001 Spin Art

In 2001, Vic released a 'solo' record, if you will, of 4-track demos, pro-tooled arrangements and other various sundries. It was in stark contrast to his two previous albums, 'The Salesman and Bernadette' and "Merriment' which both featured big production and very polished sounds."Left to His Own Devices" is one of my favorite albums. It feels very personal and has this beautiful raw quality to it. The songs are a varied collection of old and new material- ranging from quirky (Deadline, Caper, and this one) to morbid (My Last Act) to social commentary (Distortion) to nostalgic (Hermitage, Look At Me.)

Squeak is an old song. The only live recording that I have dates back to 1992. The album arrangement sounds like it could be a demo from that period, as well. It's a simple acoustic song, probably recorded on a four-track, with slight overdubs, including some whistling, and guitar noodling.

Lyrically, it's a funny little song that's very observant and reflective. One can only speculate to the references in this song, but I believe it focuses not only on the 'on stage' side of playing, but the 'off stage' side too. The verses seem to refer to the downtime experienced when not on stage- the 'sitting around, watching TV, observing people' time. Vic was amazingly adept at highlighting situations like those, and he could turn a phrase with such ease. By focusing on little details, or drawing the essence from a situation, he was able to make his lyrics come alive.

The chorus is an obvious reference to Vic's uncomfortable stage presence. Anybody who ever saw him perform knows that he was self deprecating and nervous, no matter the setting. That was part of his charm. He wasn't unable to command the stage, or control a room, though. He may not have seen his appeal, but no matter how "bleak" his situation, or "squeaky" his performance...Vic was a one of a kind showman, and always worth the effort. That is what I miss.

Here's the studio version:

And the live 1992 version:

SQUEAK

the wall came down,
yes I saw a kid chiseling.
the reporter is a new age junkie,
keeps his needles in a pyramid

camera on his shoulder
and chips on the pavement
a hundred german dollars,
well don't that just about pay my rent

yes I am weak,
outlook is bleak
yes I'm on stage
commencing to squeak
yes I'm on stage
commencing to squeak.

well the picture is flickering
a surge of some kind
if you shake that thing more than 3 times
you're liable to go blind
pretty shoes and a sparkly hat
eyeballing crass commercialism,
well I couldn't live like that

I am weak,
outlook is bleak
yes I'm on stage
commencing to squeak
yes I'm on stage
commencing to squeak.

the picture is flickering,
a surge of some kind
if you shake that thing more than 3 times
you're likely to go blind!
allies, enemies, summits to climb!
warsaw pacts,
remaking maps,
yes it's all pink on the inside!

yes I am weak,
outlook is bleak
yes I'm on stage
commencing to squeak
yes I'm on stage
commencing to squeak

"Flirted With You All Of My Life"- At The Cut, 2009 Constellation

In the catalog of Vic's compositions, this song will undoubtedly be remembered as his final reflection on death. The subject matter of suicide is something that Vic has dealt with many times in his songwriting (Florida, Bakersfield, etc) but this song in particular is a direct reference to his personal struggle with it.

Just before his death, Vic was interviewed for NPR's 'Fresh Air' program, by Terry Gross. In that interview, he addresses this song...and suicide in general...


GROSS: Vic, let's talk about the lyric. The song is about flirting with suicide, but from what I've read, you've done more than flirt with it. It's something you've tried.

Mr. CHESNUTT: Right. Well, this song is a love song. It's a suicide's breakup song with death. You know, I've attempted suicide three or four times. It didn't take. And this is really a breakup song with death. You know, it's talking about flirting with, you know, flirting - I had flirted with death my whole life, you know. Even as a young kid, I was sick and almost died a few times. And then suicide attempts - it's a kind of - you know, it's a breakup song.

GROSS: Did you try to kill yourself even before the accident?

Mr. CHESNUTT: I did, yeah.

GROSS: And after the accident?

Mr. CHESNUTT: I did, yeah.

GROSS: And each time when you came through, when as you put it, death didn't take, were you relieved or sorry?

Mr. CHESNUTT: Well, you know, it's more complex. You can't... I couldn't say either. I mean, you know, sometimes I'd be angry.

GROSS: Angry that...

Mr. CHESNUTT: Angry that they revived me, you know? I'd be like, how dare you? You know, how dare you people interfere in my, you know, what is obviously my life, my wish? But you know, of course, as the hours and days wear on, you realize well, there is joy to be had. I mean, this is how I - I'm sure everybody's different, you know, just how I, how it struck me. You know, when the days would wear on, you know, I would start to, you know, see some joy again in the world and be like whew, I eked - I squeaked that one out.

GROSS: This is such an emotionally heavy album. Is it hard to write a song like this, about flirting with suicide, or is it therapeutic to write it, or you know...?

Mr. CHESNUTT: Well, it occurred to me that I would like to sing this song where at the first half of it, you think I'm singing it about a lover, and then it becomes obvious that I'm singing about death. Death is my lover. And it took a bit of time to get it to fit just right and to work. And when we were actually cutting the track, it was hard to make it through without kind of breaking down emotionally and just crying. You know, it's a heavy song, no doubt about it.

GROSS: Now, one of the heavy lines in it is about your mother. You write, when my mom was cancer sick, she fought but then succumbed to it, but you made her beg for it. Lord Jesus please, I'm ready. How old were you when she died?

Mr. CHESNUTT: I was in my mid-20s. And that's the thing about a suicidal person, I think, is that, you know, I mean, right after my mom died was, like, one of my last suicide attempts. It really destroyed me. My dad had died a year before, and that was the end of my whole close family, who had all died off within two or three years of each other: my grandpa, my grandma, my other grandma, my mom and my dad. They all died off in a couple of years. And so I felt lost, and I was depressed. But also you see - a suicidal person, when you see somebody else die of natural causes or whatever, for me it's also a kind of wakeup call.

GROSS: Tell me more about what, the effect that had?

Mr. CHESNUTT: Well, like when my friends have died or something like that, it made me feel silly. My sorrow seemed silly and that I'm not ready to go. As I said in the song, the sweet relief, I'm not - I don't deserve the sweet relief of death yet, because I haven't accomplished my tasks yet.

GROSS: Um...

Mr. CHESNUTT: But I do want to say one thing, though, about this song.

GROSS: Yeah, go ahead.

Mr. CHESNUTT: This song is a joyous song, though. I mean, it's a heavy song, but it is a joyous song. This is a breakup song with death, you know what I mean?

GROSS: Right, because you're saying clearly, I wasn't ready.

Mr. CHESNUTT: I'm not ready to kill myself, you know. It's a joyous song, so -and it has these very heavy aspects, you know, but it's a joyous song.

I don't feel it's my place to add to Vic's comments, so I won't.

Musically, the song has changed since it's initial performance. It was just a simple acoustic song, with such power and weight to it. It felt more heartbreaking than joyous. In the studio, the artists which played on the album, including Guy Picciotto and members of Thee Silver Mt. Zion turned the arrangement into a light, flow-y song that truly belies the lyrical depth and focus.

I will always be partial to Vic's original version. Just him, his guitar, and that special intimacy of his relationship with life, albeit broken and strained. I'm sorry that he decided that he was ready after all.

Here is the original version. (This version just cuts me deep..)

(Thanks to Kathi for recording and sharing it.)



And here's the studio cut.

Also, here's the full interview with Terry Gross from NPR's Fresh Air's December 1st, 2009 broadcast.

FLIRTED WITH YOU ALL OF MY LIFE

i am a man

i am self aware

and everywhere I go

you're always right there with me

i flirted with you all of my life

even kissed you once or twice

and to this day I swear it was nice

but clearly i was not ready

when you touched a friend of mine

i thought i would lose my mind

but i found out with time

that really, i was not ready

o' death...i'm not ready

o' death you hector me

and decimate those dear to me

and tease me with your sweet relief

you are cruel and you are constant

when my mom was cancer sick

she fought but succumbed to it

but you made her beg for it

"lord jesus, please i'm ready"

o' death....clearly i am not ready

"In My Way, Yes"- Silver Lake, 2003 New West

The last song on Vic's 2003 release 'Silver Lake' is a lovely, poetic reflection on life, and an uncharacteristically direct admission of worthiness to those things that make it worthwhile.
The album, which garnered critical acclaim when it was released, is one of Vic's slickest productions, and was recorded, essentially live, over a two week period, at the historic Paramour Mansion in Silver Lake, California.

Oxford American magazine once said that "Where Bruce Springsteen was born to run, Vic Chesnutt was born to curl up in a ball and cry." On previous releases, that may hold true. However, Silver Lake is a far cry from that declaration. In fact, the songs on Silver Lake are less dirges and more anthems. The song is an open conversation between Vic and what he playfully referred to as his 'Greek Chorus.'

"(In My Way, Yes) is a love song," Vic uttered in an introduction of

this song in Knoxville, TN, in 2003.

The crowd "Awwwwed."

"Well," Vic continued. "At least there's some fuckin' in it!"

Again, the crowd reacted. This time with 'whoops' and laughter.

"There's also some songwriting going on in there, so don't confuse the two, or else, you make me sound like a pervert, or you might think I'm a pervert."

"Never!" retorted a female spectator.

"We love you Vic!" and "We love perverts!" shouts also fill the air.

Despite Vic's tossed off intro, he was correct. There is indeed some songwriting happening in this song. The first stanzas in this song relate to the the creative process, and the technique and dedication needed to produce something artistic or worthwhile. When the chorus asks Vic if he thinks it makes a difference to the outcome, his response is "Yes."

Secondly, Vic focuses on relationships, and the intimacy involved. Poetically, he addresses the physicality of the act of love. When asked if he feels silly (or embarrassed) of course he says "No."

The last stanza of this song focuses on finding happiness in the smallest things. Again, a question is posed, as to whether he deserves happiness. Without question, Vic answers correctly.

I find this song to be an emotional upswing for Vic. He finally has come to the realization that he deserves the happiness, success and love that he has been blessed with. Honestly, during that time, Vic was the most pleasant, and charming that I think I've ever seen him. Things seemed to be good in his life, and this song is a direct acclamation of that fact.

It's unfathomably sad the way things ended up with Vic, but I take comfort in the knowledge that he, for a brief moment, at least, was able to find solace and be happy in the fact that he was, and is, deserving of such things.

I've attached two songs below. The first is the studio cut for the album. It's beautiful, and uplifting. The second is a demo version, with a sparse arrangement and an unfinished feel. The demo comes from a book of poetry entitled "Isn't It Romantic- 100 Love Poems By Younger American Poets." The book came with a bonus CD which included the track, as well as songs by Doug Martsh, Chuck Prophet, The Silver Jews and Magnolia Electric Co.

http://www.amazon.com/Isnt-Romantic-Poems-Younger-American/dp/0974635316/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1262808363&sr=8-1-catcorr

Here's the studio cut.

And the demo.

IN MY WAY, YES

Do you think it makes a difference?
I say yes


Taking my time
Working on lines
Fingers in clay
Everyday


Head in the clouds
Moving my mouth
Spreading the grout
That's holding it down

Do you think it makes a difference?
I say yes
In my life yes

Cuddling up
Declarations of love
Squeeze and a hug
A kiss and a rub

Faces opposed
Eyelids closed
Nuzzling nose
Like eskimos

Don't'cha' feel silly?
I say no
With my love no

I never ever thought
I'd ever have a life like this
I never dreamed
I'd be alive
I never considered
Such as these surroundings
Effectually pulling it off

Watching the cops go by
Seeing a falcon fly
Reading a history book
Wetting a tiny hook

Driving fast all night
Bursting into song at first light
Sharing breakfast from one plate
Holding hands over loved ones graves

Do you think you deserve it
I Say Yes
In my way Yes

"One of Many", Drunk 1993 New West

This first of many covers that I will include in this blog, 'One Of Many' is a lovely take on a writing by English poet Miss Stevie Smith. This is one of two poems that Vic attempted by Stevie, the other being 'Not Waving But Drowning' (which can be found on Little.) Both poems can be found in print on the 1962 New Directions Paperback Selected Poems, and in the case of "One of Many', on a record entitled The Poet Speaks.

Florence Margaret "Stevie" Smith was a British born poet whom, not unlike Vic, would set words to introspective topics such as death, loss , love and religion. She also could be both intimately funny and serious all at once in her poems. She also was very clever and inventive. It's easy to see the attraction that Vic had in her.

Vic often credited his mature, ruminative writing style to a (famously shoplifted) edition of "The Norton Anthology of Modern Poetry." His discovery of Stevie probably also came from that misdemeanor.

The poem (as well as her 'performance') both have a sense of mortality and remorse to them. The story is a telling of an incident in which a boy is told that he's nothing special, lumped into a category, and made to feel anything but unique. That 'knowledge' worked his mind "into such a pitch", enraging him to finally murder his friends. It's a poetically social satire, and quite understandable that Vic would choose to cover it.

The album Drunk was released in 1993, originally on the now defunct Texas Hotel records. It was, at the time, Vic's dark record, and reeks of boozy arrangements and self serving lyrics. It was an appropriately titled album. Several standout track emerged from all the cacophony, however, including Supernatural, Kick My Ass, and this one.

I'm partial to this track and especially the fact that Vic left Stevie's introduction intact. The result is a moody and somber cut among several upbeat, raucous tracks. It sticks out like a sore thumb...which is a good thing.

Further reading:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stevie_Smith

Here's the version by Stevie from The Poet Speaks:

And here is Vic's version:

One of Many

you're only one of many

of small account if any

you think about yourself too much

this touch the child with the quick touch

and worked his mind to such a pitch,

he threw his fellows in a ditch

this little child who was so mild is grown too wild

"murder in the first degree," cried old fury

recording the verdict of the jury

now we come to the execution tree

the gallows stand wide on me

"Christ died for sinners," explained the prison chaplain

from his miscellany

weeping bitterly,

the little child cried," I die one of many"

"Unlike Joni Mitchell" (Live)- Amazing Little Parlor Games... A Collection of Live and Unreleased Songs- Volume Two, 2005

Several years ago, I started a project to compile and collate songs that Vic had performed live, but never recorded or released. That collection is called "Amazing Little Parlor Games" and, as of this blog, is in it's seventh volume...with an eighth soon to be released. So far, a total of 110 songs have been put out for mass consumption due to this project. Vic himself was very pleased with the idea, and often asked for copies.

Some of these songs actually ended up being recorded for subsequent studio releases. In fact, whenever Vic would release a new album, it inevitably would have a song that was on a previous volume of "Parlor Games." All total, around twenty songs from those compilations made their way onto an album. Coincidence, or not...I was always thrilled when that happened. Vic did used to joke that often got song titles wrong (and I did), and this song was no exception.

I initially had titled it 'Party Potential' when it was put on Volume Two. I've since been told that it is called 'Unlike Joni Mitchell'. It was recorded in Madison, WI, in April of 1999, on a tour that had Vic opening solo for the band Wilco.

I like this recording for two reasons. First, it captures Vic stage presence in a very accurate way. He was always tried to be humorous, and self deprecating, regardless of the crowd or the venue. His charm and wit are very evident here. Secondly, the song, is an unapologetic, open letter, if you will, and Vic's word choices are very forward and telling, and the phrasing is very much his.

Take for example the line, "But you never knew the sciences, and you hardly ever touched the tools...except for those funny weapons used defending your honor in roommate duels."

I also love how the antagonist is basically called out for her behavior, and told...you're out..."you've reached your party potential....unlike Joni Mitchell."

Vic doesn't do that sparingly or with kid gloves. He is very direct and to the point. However venomous and tactless, Vic has succeeded in writing a song that expresses, what would be predictably, an uncomfortable conversation with an elegant beauty...and a sour tongue.

Cover art created for this project by Franck Périgny. Examples which can be viewed here:

http://jediroller.free.fr/en/cdcovers/vc2.htm

On a side note, and for the sake of accuracy, this song did get an official release, sort of. A live version did appear on a compilation entitled 'Live at the Lobby: A Collection Of Bands Playing Live at 90.5 FM WUOG, Athens, Ga' That version was recorded

in September of 1998. It was such a rarity, and wasn't an official Vic release that I still consider it largely unreleased.

Unlike Joni Mitchell

well I know today looks gloomy
against the acid fired haze of last night
and the power that you felt yesterday
today sure is out of sight
but its so hard to go back
to your daddy's little row of corn
and you want to invent something
to prevent you from being born

but you never knew the sciences
and you hardly ever touched the tools
except for those funny weapons used
defending your honor in roommate duels

you've reached your party potential
unlike Joni Mitchell
you know you can't hang
better put your boots to the clay
better put your boots to the clay

for one season, it was raining boys
and you quickly blew through some
as you searched for your Svengali
I guess you never ever tasted of one

and you proudly liked to admit
the depths for which you knelt
and you loudly like to account
the great sadness that you felt

but we're all bored with your stories
and we're sick of picking up
the rosy path is laid
surely your silent fathers foot will drop

you've reached your party potential
unlike Joni Mitchell
you know you can't hang
better put your boots to the clay
better put your boots to the clay

"Soggy Tongues"- West Of Rome, 1992 New West

One of my all time favorite Vic memories revolves around a show in Knoxville, TN in October 2004. I had arrived to the venue early, and Vic and Tina (his wife) invited me to hang out with them before the show. The three of us sat around for a couple of hours, caught up on life and just chilled. During that time, Vic decided that they needed to prepare the set list for that night's show. Tina was playing bass with Vic for that show, and they had a handful of lyric sheets with them...each of them in Vic's scrawled handwriting, with chord references and music addendum scribbled among the pages. I was awestruck. Here were the actual lyric sheets for a ton of my favorite songs ever...in the original handwriting, in the possession of the man who wrote them . Amazes me still.

Anyway, so while they were contemplating over the nights play lists, Vic would ask my opinion from time to time. Of course, I was biased and sad that I loved them all. One song in particular though I had direct influence on. Tina had pulled out the lyrics to "Soggy Tongues', and Vic said that he didn't know if they could play it. He said it had been too long, and indeed he may had been right. The last documented performance was from around 1992. Anyway, I interjected that I really would like to hear that song and since up to that point, the set list seemed to revolve around songs from Vic's first four albums (which were just reissued on New West), that it fit perfectly into theme of the evening. They mulled it over for a second, and then agreed. Vic was always like that, at least to me. He was inviting and generous and I will cherish those memories and experiences.

The performance of 'Soggy Tongues' from that night was far from perfect (and I've included it below for your enjoyment). It was, however, such a treat to hear... not only because of the song's rarity, but also because of Vic's banter onstage as the song's quick collapse, after just a few measures. His prophetic divorce joke notwithstanding, the recording perfectly displays Vic's sense of humor, stage presence, and ability to reel in the crowd, even during an awkward performance like this.

The original studio version was released on 'West Of Rome', or as Vic called it, his "second squirt"...or his "sophomore slough." That album is widely hailed as one of Vic's best, if not THE best. The song is his retelling on the events immediately surrounding his marriage to Tina... a ceremony which, incidentally took place at the counter in 'Rip Griffin's World's Largest Truck stop', just outside of Dallas, TX.

From the documentary 'Speed Racer- Welcome To The World Of Vic Chesnutt', by Peter Sillen...

"Tina and I got married, and we came back to Athens after I lived in California for a while. And, oh the stories where a flyin' about, you know, what the deal was. Everybody was like, um, all mad that we got married or something? I don't know what the deal was? But there was like the sordid little theory mill, and little rumors were going crazy about what the, you know, because the various involvements or something, ya know? Athens is a small town, you know, everybody is involved with everybody. So, anyway, I wrote 'Soggy Tongues' in about five minutes,and it's um, the perfect summation of us gettin' married."

Musically, the song has an 'airy' production, quality vocals, and benefits greatly from some staccato strings (aptly performed by Vic's young nieces- Liz and Mandi Durrett.) Arranged (or heard) and produced by Michael Stipe, 'Soggy Tongues' is very melodic and Vic's inflections, with his unique drawl and elongation of phrases, is at a pinnacle here. All in all, not too bad for a song which was defiantly written in about five minutes.

Here's the live version that I referenced. (Warning: Explicit content)


And the studio...

Soggy Tongues

narrowed eyes and soggy tongues

beautiful rumors are flying about the ugly ones

the girl she is by the pool

yellow journalists' jewel

and all those wagging fingers are silly little stingers

rabbits are cooking breakfast

the fog is fragrant

the girl she is waking up against the famous vagrant

the cool council is tallying fines to be levied

the girl she is tightly grinning

the vagrant thinks it's all too heavy

presents are presented and bribes reluctantly taken

summer's sweetie iced a cohort while the rest of the town was baking

traffic is light and appetites are hearty and tongues are soggy

accusations are tossed like darts

at the good little girl who is groggy